What a week for me...
For the 1st time in over 4 weeks, I punked out on a morning run on Wednesday. I was so emotionally drained that I simply didn't want to go. And you better believe that as I donned my instructor uniform at our belt ceremony, i thought about the moment i'd lost. And, yes, regret set in.
Sometimes it is so very hard to find the mental and emotional motivation - that I must go beyond that and do what needs to be done because it needs to be done; not because I want to, or I feel like it. That is a tough lesson I'm learning.
Yesterday, I felt the same way. I didn't want to go walking. BUT...I did it anyway. While I was walking, I was faced with several emotions about a lot of things. It's a really good thing that traffic was light - I'm sure I looked like a COMPLETE idiot with tears streaming down my face as I walked. I pushed through it, and got a mile and a half under my belt.
Let me also put this out there. I love Jesus, no question. And while i'm walking, running, sweating and panting - i talk to Him a lot. Sometimes its about spiritual things; sometimes its not. I'm not gunna get preachy (this time), but needless to say - He is the reason for my race. I'm learning (albeit slowly) a lot about my journey of faith through my journey on the pavement. Some of it is SO refreshing and wonderful. Some of it is refining and painful. But all of it is necessary and good.
The choice (unfortately sometimes) to punk-out, or push through is solely mine. "With great power, comes great responsibility." I'm not working toward being "punk-out free" just to do it less.
If you are having a tough week, lets push through it. Feeling completely inept? Push through. Feeling lost? Push through. Feeling like you wanna punk-out every 5 secs? <--- Courtney push through.