It's been several days since my last entry. Things have gone a little whirly, so unfortunately the blog (but not the training) had taken a back seat.
Last Friday (6/4) I had the day off, so I decided to go to Lake Ella to do my walk/jog. I must confess that I didn't like it very much. Ducks everywhere and to be honest...the smell was a little stifling. But I digress. After 25 minutes, and determined to make the most out of my remaining 10 minutes, I decided to try a little interval training. What i wanted to do, was to walk/run from lamp post to lamp post. HOWEVER, i am not all that comfortable or confident in what my body (particularly my stomache) does when I run full-out. I battled with myself past several lamp posts, until I threw in the proverbial towel and mental screamed at myself..."WHAT DO YOU CARE??????" It's not what you maybe thinking. I had an intense debate with myself, but the good thing is...I won. What do I care what people may say about me, or how they look at me? What do I care if I don't have the exact runner's body (yet)? Most of my fears are from things that I don't really know if they go on...For example, does the guy in the car really snicker as I run past, does the girl that runs past me as I pant and sweat thing me a complete doofas, does someone say...."Oh My God, Look at her stomache, it's like SOOOOOOO big"? Nah, probably not, it's the perception i have of my own hang-ups and how I feel about myself.
So, I finally had to say - what/why do I really care? This journey isn't between me and so-and-so, it's between me and...well, me! [Dear Courtney, stop being a complete putz. Do what you need to do to meet your goals, regardless of what you may or may not think. Step it up, woman! Love, Courtney]
Saturday (6/5) was the first day in 4 weeks that I missed my training. Due to a Taekwondo function, I wasn't able to run in the morning, and by the afternoon, Tallahassee was besieged with thunderstorms. I still would have gone if it had been raining only. I need to learn to run in the rain, just in case it rains the day of the race. But thunderstorms, fahgetaboutit!
Sunday (6/6) was my long run day. 2 miles at a brisk pace. I started at about 8:30a.m. I ran about .25 miles and could barely breathe. The air was thick with humidity. I felt like I was trying to breathe through a mask of hot, damp air. I did manage to finish my 2 miles in just under 36 minutes. Not my best; not my worst. It was just a tough day mentally for me.
Monday (6/7) was supposed to be a day of rest. But, because of some events with work, I ended up walking, shopping, lifting, and sweating at Wal-Mart for 4.5 hours. So, I exchanged my day of rest for today.
This journey to healthy living is a beast sometimes. It can be trying, long and often times the results come in small increments - that can go unnoticed. So I have to constantly remind myself of the goals that have already been met, acheivements already revelled in, challenges that have been overcome, and those who have been inspired and who inspire me.
The last few days have almost gotten the best of me. Sometimes...I have to close my eyes, visualized the finish line and what it will feel like to cross it, and to imagine all the people on the sidelines who have encouraged and pushed me to be better, cheering me on. Because of that...I will lace up my runnin shoes in the morning, and continue this journey. In 87 days, it won't be my imagination...it will be my reality.
Until we meet again...lets encourage and push one another to keep running/walking with perseverance this race (whatever it may be) that has been set before us, and continue to throw, peel, push and sweat off EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that holds us back from being the best we can be, and living in the abundant life.