So...according to my training schedule, I was to take a 30-minute stroll today. Instead...I assisted in 2 VERY active junior TaeKwonDo classes. Tomorrow, I'm goin for another 3-mile walk - and will probably go to the track at Florida State and see if I can cut down my time a little. Last Sunday, I did 3 miles in around 57 minutes.
Here is where self-doubt sets in. The average time for a 5k is between 30 and 40 minutes. To shave that much time off my personal time before June 19, seems totally overwhelming. If I think about it too long, I just might talk myself out of it. So, i just keep pluggin along - trying to do my best for the day I'm in.
I've never been a runner, or even an active walker for that matter. I'm afraid that when I tell people that I'm gunna do a 5k or a half-marathon, that they get this image in their head about my fitness level. This is a HUGE struggle for me. There are many times when i tend to lose my purpose, or forget what and why i'm doing what I'm doing. But I have people around me who, in the own wonderful way, cheer me on toward the finish line. I hope that they continue to do so, because without them...I tend to wander aimlessly.
On the other hand, I feel a sense of purpose in my journey of jogging. Each step I take erases the cruel names I was called as a child, and the hateful things that have been said to me over the years. Each time my calves and shins burn in pain, I feel a little more justified and empowered. It is on the pavement that fear and triumph meet, head to head in a battle - tearing down habits of the past and rebuilding the future.
To you faithful few - who read this blog and comment often of inspiration and encouragement...THANK YOU. You can't know how much that means to me - and how inspiring you have become in my journey.